This call to action from the Rev Canon Michael Cavanagh, Priest-in-Charge of Kenmare & Dromod Union encourages parishes across TLK to get involved in the Mothers Union’s Rise Up campaign.
On Pentecost Sunday in St Patrick’s Church, the Kenmare & Dromod Mothers Union received the RISE UP (Respond, Inform, Support, Empower, Unite and Pray) Gold award for their work in raising awareness of the disturbing – but often hidden under the carpet – issue of domestic violence. Kenmare is the first parish in the Republic to achieve this level, and one of only three on the island of Ireland.
The project was initiated in early 2024 following a conversation between concerned parishioner Heather Kingston and MU Branch Leader Marjorie Cavanagh. The congregations of all four Churches in the Union quickly responded in support of the programme, in addition to establishing links with and support for the Tralee Women’s Refuge, ADAPT; hosting an exhibition called ‘Souls of our Shoes’; placing an empty red chair at the Church gate highlighting the number of fatalities directly caused by Domestic violence; and a number of other activities. Not content to stop there, they are currently pursuing a number of new projects, one such item being an ‘open letter to my abuser’ which will be circulated within the local community.
Scroll down to read the Letter and to find the link to our Podcast, where the DCO talks to Michael about the initiative.
(Report from Facebook.com/kenmarenews/)
Those interested in getting involved can contact Canon Cavanagh by email at [email protected] or phone him on 087 1606312.
You’ll find information about the Mothers Union Rise Up Campaign here:- https://www.mothersunion.org/riseup
On Pentecost Sunday in St Patrick’s Church, the Kenmare & Dromod Mothers Union received the RISE UP (Respond, Inform, Support, Empower, Unite and Pray) Gold award for their work in raising awareness of the disturbing – but often hidden under the carpet – issue of domestic violence. Kenmare is the first parish in the Republic to achieve this level, and one of only three on the island of Ireland
PODCAST – Our DCO, Stephen Fletcher, talks with Michael about how the parish got involved and the valuable work they’ve been doing since. Listen here:- https://www.mixcloud.com/TLKCOMMS/revd-michael-cavanagh/
An open letter to my abuser
I am your… Wife. Husband. Partner. Child. Parent…
…and you are my abuser.
You probably don’t like being called that. But that’s what you are.
There have been times when you said you loved me, and I assume you meant it. You still say it sometimes – but you don’t mean it now. It’s like when you say you’re sorry – you think you are. But you aren’t.
Sometimes, you were the one who held me when I was your new-born child, filled with promise; you watched me grow, dependent on you for everything, and then you helped me spread my wings.
Perhaps One special day, you stood alongside me and promised to be my strength, my friend, my lover.
As I grow older I am becoming increasingly dependent on you.
In all these relationships, I have loved you – deep down, there is a part of me that perhaps still does.
But now, instead of loving you, I am frightened of you. As child, as partner, as parent, you are the one in whom I should be able to place my trust. But I can’t. You have hurt me too many times.
You wound me. I have to disguise the purple bruises sometimes (although you take care they are not able to be seen).
Sometimes, the pain isn’t physical. You control me, you humiliate me, you treat me as a non-person. You hurt me in my heart, my mind, my soul.
Yes, you say there were reasons for your behaviour. You were yourself abused. You were drunk. You had money problems. You thought me unfaithful. You felt trapped. You, deep down, feel inadequate. You have mental health issues…
SO many excuses.
But other people have the same issues – and they don’t strike out in anger.
In truth, there is NO excuse. You made a choice to abuse me. It’s that simple.
Can I forgive you? – that would be difficult. Can we start again? – Probably not. We’ve tried that too many times for me to believe that we could. But I do believe this – that you could change. You don’t have to live your life as an abuser. You can change if you want to. That’s your choice to make. And only you can decide.
Changing the Story on Domestic Violence’ exhibition took place in St Patrick’s Church Kenmare September 1st – 30th 2024.
The Red Chair The empty chair acts as a powerful symbol of the many women who’ve been killed through gender-based violence – women who should still be with us today
Souls of our Shoes consists of 30 pairs of Shoes from women, men and children who have walked away from abuse, with a quotation that speaks on their behalf.